SNL After Party 5/9/26 - S51 E19 “Forty Minutes Late With An Ice Cream Cone.”

Host: Matt Damon
Musical Guest: Noah Kahan

Was Matt Damon Bourne to host Saturday Night Live, or is he just in 2026 still hunting for some good will? Let's find out on this week's SNL After Party.

Cold Open:

We open on the exterior of a bar. Is it possible this won't be a politics-based cold open? No, it is not.

Once we get inside the bar, we see Cullen Jost's now omnipresent Pete Hegseth walk in, declaring it is his favorite secret bar. He orders a reverse Irish Car Bomb, which is a glass of whiskey with a shot of beer dropped in. He says he likes the bar because no other Washington insiders will show up. He is, however, quickly disabused of this notion as Matt Damon enters, reviving his Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh character that he slayed with so effectively during Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearing.

Hegseth and Kavanaugh comment that they noticed all the women covering their drinks when they entered the bar, to which they note, "It's great that we share that." The two talk for a moment when Kavanaugh produces a map that appears to be the voting district in Tennessee following gerrymandering, but he clarifies that it is in fact a field sobriety test in which he was asked to draw a circle. They talk about the war in Iran. Kavanaugh, once again, as he did in his confirmation hearings, lists all his friends, including the infamous Squee and Dr. William Cosby. As they wrap this up, comic Aziz Ansari enters the bar screaming, "Does this bar take Kash?”

Ansari may now be a semi-regular as FBI Director Kash Patel. Patel produces a bottle of his personally commissioned FBI bourbon, noting it is in fact a real thing. As the bartender (Kenan Thompson) says it's time for last call, the three order a whiskey drink, a vodka drink, a cider drink and a lager drink. They then bust into a round of Chumpwmba’s “Tubthumping” before they button it with “Live from New York…”

Although in a very real sense this sketch was kind of a more of the same version of last week's open that also featured Hegseth and Patel, it was nonetheless refreshingly funny due to the setting and the inclusion of Damon's Justice Kavanaugh. This was a genuinely funny cold open that was amped up by the guest stars and their characters’ alleged shared love of drinking.

Squee would be proud.

Monologue

Matt Damon is good at the monologue. He’s comfortable in this venue, as he has now hosted three times (“Which seems a little low, right?” he asks).

Since this was the Mother's Day episode, the audience has expected the cast to bring their mothers out, as has been tradition for years. Damon says that was the intent and that the show planned to spare no expense flying them in. However, they had to cancel at the last minute when Spirit Airlines went under.

To make up for it, Damon records a personalized video greeting that everyone can give to their mothers. It is cute enough.

Finally, there is a weird bit about a man in the audience really hoping that Marcelo Hernandez's mother was going to show up, and then she did. It is a shame that the show did not continue its usual Mother's Day tradition, which is always sweet and funny. There has to be a story here, right?

Godzilla Movie

In this Godzilla feature from the Monster Channel, Damon is the Admiral on board a U.S. Navy ship tracking Godzilla. Every time he learns something vaguely shocking, he does a spit take on Mikey Day. That is all there is to this sketch.

However, it is brilliantly executed in that the setups become more and more elaborate as Damon goes from water to a green drink that he keeps in his mouth to savor until the right moment, to lumpy yogurt, until finally all the crew members have bottles of water just as Day is about to reveal more shocking information about Godzilla. This was a lot funnier than it should have been because it was so well executed. Matt Damon was deadpan throughout the whole piece, even when over-the-top, clearly prepping for spit takes. This sketch was stupid, stupid, stupid, and I mean that in an absolutely positive way. It was a lot of fun.

Mom Movie Trailer

In this pre-taped movie trailer, we see a movie written just for mom (Ashley Padilla). It's the kind of movie that contains “just things that work out for mom…and the husband is straight up Matt Damon.”

This Mother's Day movie is cute and shows the tropes that mom might enjoy. As always, Padilla does a great job, and the sketch works as a light Mother's Day piece.

Tough Guys

Three older tough guys (Hernandez, Damon, Thompson) bemoan the fact that everyone today thinks they are a tough guy. They each tell stories about encounters they have had with would-be tough guys who actually do, in fact, kick their ass. This includes a 100-year-old man in a wheelchair and a kid who demands that Thompson keep a quarter in his mouth at all times and will remain subject to quarter checks for the rest of his life. Hernandez takes up most of the sketch, telling a - dare I say it - shaggy dog story about a man who captured him and forced him to live in a dog cage for an extended period of time, training him before turning around and eventually kicking his ass.

This was a weird sketch that felt like it might have been more at home later in the show, but it was still something different and entertaining.

Tidy Care Crystals

In another pre-recorded commercial piece, Damon and Padilla are a married couple who have just changed their cat's kitty litter. A voiceover narrator (James Austin Johnson) explains that the color changes depending on the health of the cat using it. For example, if the crystals are green, then the cat is healthy. Damon and Padilla observe that the crystals are blue, which the narrator tells them is something they shouldn't worry about. Of course, it eats at them to the point where they demand that the narrator explain, which he hesitantly does by saying that blue crystals demonstrate the presence of human urine. This sets off a dramatic chain of events in which the parents accuse their son (Andrew Dismukes) of using the litter box, before the parents turn on each other. The narrator wraps it up by noting a dog could cause the blue coloration as well, leaving everyone to blame the family dog.

This is another sketch that is not hilarious but is incredibly well executed. Damon and Padilla do a fantastic job of screaming at each other and increasing the tension as the sketch moves along.

Weekend Update

Che and Jost have a case of the sillies this week.

The news starts off with Jost reading a story about Secretary of State Marco Rubio visiting Pope Leo. Every time Jost says Marco, Shea off camera says Rubio as though they are playing a game of Marco Polo. Jost returns the favor later by saying Patel when Shea says Kash.

Other stories include the Supreme Court's recent decision to allow mail-order abortion drugs ("citing prom season"). There is also a story about the cruise ship with a Hantavirus outbreak, which Joe's notes can be caused by rodent droppings. He then shows a shot of a mascot, Mickey Mouse, on a cruise ship and blames him for the first time in the evening, but not the last. Che audibly says “That's dumb.”

We get three desk pieces this week. The first is Jeremy Culhane delivering his pitch-perfect Tucker Carlson imitation. In this outing, Culhane comments on the recent Met Gala. When discussing the Rock's outfit, which included a skirt, Culhane's Carlson says, "Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?" It's gender confusion." In the middle of the bit, he also does an ad for round bananas, which are bananas for people who want to eat bananas “without looking gay."

The second piece involves two Kamikaze dolphins trained to sink ships in the straits of Hormuz. The dolphins (Day and Hernandez) are wearing dynamite vests and camouflage hats.

When asked why they chose to be Kamikaze Dolphins, Hernandez says he did so because "my life had no porpoise." Day's dolphin notes that there aren't a lot of job opportunities for dolphins. He says he could have gone to SeaWorld, but he'd "rather die than live in Orlando." He also notes that if they do die while serving their country, in the afterlife they will get 72 sturgeons. Finally, Jost hires the dolphins to blow up the ferry that he co-owns with Pete Davidson. Bonus points to Day for throwing himself all-in on this one.

Finally, Jane Wickline appears to sing a song about being late. It's a pretty funny song where she talks about her tardiness and her lack of concern for how it affects others. Wickline is starting to feel a lot more natural on the show, and this song captured her off-kilter sensibilities.

Substitute Teacher’s Goodbye

Matt Damon is wrapping up his stint as a substitute teacher at a high school. In the waning minutes of his final class, he decides to do something special for the students by letting them cut loose and dance. He proceeds to dance in front of the class and gets stone-faced silence from all the students (except for Chloe Fineman, who cracks up during the sketch. This is shame, because everyone else kept a blank expression, which really helped sell the bit). He suggests they get up and “shake your booty with the subsitutooty”). No one joins him, and there is palpable (intentional) awkwardness throughout the sketch.

In the end, Damon's character walks off dejected. It is revealed that he is the father of one of the students (Dismuke). Another student says to this muke, "I'm sorry, these next few weeks are going to be really, really bad for you." This muke acknowledges that sadly, this is the case.

The Crumbling Marriage of Two Auctioneers

Damon and Sarah Sherman are two auctioneers whose marriage to each other is falling apart, so they have an argument in auctioneer talk. Both players do an excellent job with the fast-paced and jargon-filled style of an auctioneer. Ultimately, this sketch is more clever than funny and is admirable in its execution. Both Damon and Sherman are very good at maintaining the rapid-fire auctioneer speak.

The Goodbye Wave

Best Sketch: Godzilla Movie was so, so very silly yet so, so very funny. There's probably not a lot of new territory to cover in the world of spit take humor, but this sketch really worked and generated a lot of laughs. It was fun to see such an old bit find a refreshing new way to mine laughter.

Worst sketch: Although there were no absolute stinkers this episode, I think I'll have to go with "Tough Guys" on this. The sketch seemed to go on for quite a long time and really didn't provide much in the way of laughter. It was odd, which is not a bad thing, but it also was not funny enough to justify its run time.

Random Notes:

- Matt Damon introduced musical guest, Noah Kahan while wearing a shirt promoting Water.org, Matt Damon’s charity with a mission of helping people have access to clean water.

- Kahan had some interesting set designs for his two songs.

- The sketch count was lower than usual this week. I’m assuming it’s because of the extra desk piece.

- This is just a story I like to tell. I was in The Rainmaker with Matt Damon before he was a known entity. I was just an extra, but somehow managed to be in a scene with Damon. At the last second our blocking was changed by an Assistant Director. I happened to be standing right by director Francis Ford Coppola, and I looked over at him with a confused look as I was unsure about the new blocking. Coppola told me “Ask that guy what to do,” indicating the AD. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the time I took direction from Francis Ford Coppola. The scene got cut, but I don’t think it was my fault.

Matt Damon is a very good host for SNL. His acting skills pay off, and he takes the roles in the individual sketches very seriously. This pays off by heightening the realism of the scene, no matter how ridiculous it might be. I am hopeful that his next two appearances will come more quickly so he can get into the prestigious five-timers club and we can enjoy more of his work.

As for this episode, it was by no means an all-time classic, but it was solid and fun.

Grade: B+

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