Peter Jackson Announces Silmarillion Films
Peter Jackson, director of The Lord of The Rings and The Hobbit trilogies, announced he will be returning to Middle Earth by adapting J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion.
"We're all rather excited by this," Jackson said in a press conference attended by reporters and some weird New Zealand birds. "I've lived in Tolkien's world for so long, I just hate to let it go. Fortunately, there's The Silmarillion!"
Published in 1977 after Tolkien's death, the Silmarillion is a collection of stories setting out the mythology of Middle Earth. "It let's us know about the world in which all the interesting stuff in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit took place, while being devoid of actually interesting things itself," Jackson said. "It should make for cracking good films!"
Jackson indicated that the film adaptation of The Silmarillion would be broken into several films, but could not commit to how many would be in the final series.
"Well, you figure that you need at least 3, maybe 4 movies to tell the story of the Ainur," Jackson said, referring to the mythical creatures who created through music. "And don't get me started on Tuor or Idril, daughter or Turgon. This thing's going to take about 28 or 29 movies, all told."
Jackson plans to shoot all the films at once. Principle photography is set to begin in March 2015, and last until "about April 5, 2028," Jackson said. He added that he plans to shoot the movie with a special process that runs film at 243 frames per second.
"They should call it APS. The 'A' stands for 'Awesome'. The more frames, the more awesome, " Jackson said, shooing away some weird little bird that had started nesting in his beard.
When reached for comment on the project, Sir Ian McKellan said "Just leave me out of this thing, I beg of you."
This is parody, which, frankly, should be obvious.