Man Happy To Be Able To Mock Curling Again
-- Atlanta, GA
Charles Kendrick announced today that he is thrilled to be afforded the opportunity to once again mock curling, a sport he has no understanding of whatsoever.
"I only get to do this once every four years, so I have to make it count," said Kendrick, a mortgage loan officer. "People expect it, and, I am sure, look forward to it."
Kendrick stated that the only time he gets to utilize his material on curling is during the Winter Olympics.
"I think curling is a stupid and a waste of time, so I enjoy having the opportunity to point that out every four years," Kendrick said.
Kendrick then went on to explain how silly he feels curling is, the fact that it involves brooms and "rocks with handles", and a general pronouncement that it shouldn't even be considered an actual sport.
When asked for the rules of curling, Kendrick simply said "Who cares?"
After the Olympics end, Kendrick intends to explain to people why the rules of Quidditch in the Harry Potter series are inadequate and his reasons as to why soccer "doesn't count".
The above is a parody, which, frankly, should be obvious