It is time for the annual aspirational declarations of ways we will better ourselves and/or make our world a little better in the coming year. The flipping of the calendar from December 31 to January 1 denotes another journey around the sun, and one day or year is generally not meaningful in any cosmic sense. It's a man-made construct by and large, but it is an opportunity for self-reflection and for sales of new Day-Timer products. So, we may as well take advantage of the opportunity we have wrought to make our resolutions. And to refill our calendar binders.
Here are my 2017 resolutions:
I will not condone casual racism. The only racism I will not actively combat is when a mustachioed man in a tuxedo uses a slur that sounds kind of fancy.
I will lose weight in a safe manner this year. Unlike last year when I lost several pounds after I fell victim to a black market organ theft ring.
I will read ten or more books this year, at least three of which will have more words than pictures.
I will be more tolerant of those around me, mainly by holing myself up in a shack and not interacting with anyone.
I will attempt to bring back the phrase "the cat's pajamas" and will use it in at least six sentences a day.
I will be less critical of other peoples' art. Unless it's just really dumb. Then all bets are off.
I will stop tickling moose.
Everyday I will think of one way to improve the world. I will then hope someone does that thing.
I will write another book. It will count as one of the ten I have to read, which in retrospect seems overly ambitious.
I will stop padding lists out to ten items.