Finally, one of my co-workers slapped a dollar bill down in front of me and demanded we just leave. I kept trying to explain the situation, and explain what a good guy I am. No one was with me, and the all were just ready to leave.
We walked out and got in our cars. As we were pulling out, our waiter ran out the front door waiving a cell phone. My cell phone.
The guy driving stopped the car and I got out. I walked up to the waiter, and thanked him profusely for bringing out the cell phone. And it should have ended there. It did not.
As I took the phone I said, "Oh, by the way, just so you know, you didn't give me back the right change."
He apologized, and reached into his pocket to provide the correct change to me. I said, and unfortunately this is probably a pretty accurate recollection of my quote, and I swear I can even hear Larry David's accent come through on this.
"No, you keep that. I just want you to know that I didn't get the change. So, you know, you got a tip. I didn't stiff you."
This is where you could cue the Curb theme song, Frolic, to begin playing. You know the one. I think it has trombones and such.
I could practically hear the voices of the supporting cast of Larry David's show yelling at me from the car and calling me terrible names. (My co-workers weren't doing that, but they were laughing at me).
"You just keep that," I said with a wave as I awkwardly walked back to the car while the waiter just stared at me with an understandably dumbfounded look on his face.
My co-workers laughed at me some more as we rode back to the office. I should have felt bad about it.
But the truth?
I had experienced a true Larry David moment, and believe I could now write one act of a spec Curb script. So, I gotta tell ya, I felt pretty, pretty good.