Tales of Surprise! Volume I

By David Revoy / Blender Foundation (Own work) [CC BY 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

By David Revoy / Blender Foundation (Own work) [CC BY 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

I.  The Travelers The spaceship landed just outside the city, and the citizens were scared. "I hope they are friendly," said Sally Beaumont to her husband, Chester, who just shook his head while wringing the wool cap he held in his hands. The crowd watched nervously as the spaceship's engines whirred to a stop. Mayor Billings cleared his throat and walked towards the ship as its door started to open. And suddenly, out from the ship came the passengers. From the planet Earth! Also they were dogs. With rabies. And they bit all the residents of the unnamed planet that was not Earth! No one saw this coming.

II.  The Patient

Melissa Cardbox awoke from the operation, still hazy from the anesthesia.  Her hands reached her face, where her fingers moved over the gauze bandages that wrapped her face. She was confused, fighting to clear her head. A few minutes later Dr. Kyle Baxter entered her room. "Mrs. Cardbox, the surgery was more or less successful.  We have repaired your face that was damaged so badly in the wreck." "Oh, good!  Can I see?" Dr. Baxter handed her a mirror.  "You can, Mrs. Cardbox. But I warn you, it may not be what you expect." Melissa Cardbox slowly unwrapped the bandages with one hand as she held up the mirror in the other.  When the bandages were gone, she gasped. In the mirror, she saw scars, but her face was back together.  But what drew her attention was the small palm tree growing from her forehead! "What's happened to me!" she screamed. "Oh, the tree? I was just messing around.  Who would have thought a doctor would do such a thing!" exclaimed Dr. Baxter. Then a rabid dog ran into the room and bit him.

III.  The Meeting

The planners sat around the table, trying to decide how to complete the greatest project that anyone had ever completed. "Once this is complete, no one will ever starve again.  No one will ever age and no one will ever be sick or cold or have any wants.  Gentlemen, we will be building paradise!" The others applauded and excitedly shouted words of encouragement. Which was all very odd. Because every single one of them WAS A DOG (with rabies)!