Tales Of Surprise Volume II: Revenge of the Surprise!
I. Destination Earth
The spaceship commander smiled grimly as he looked at the multi-subspace scanner. A small planet called "Earth" was the fleet's target. Soon, the armada would arrive and take over this planet, for the armada needed its many natural resources.
The alarm sounded, indicating the ships had arrived at their destination. Earth.
"Fire the Killall cannons!" the commander said into the ship's communication system.
The ships, thousands of them, fired their Killall energy cannons, and within moments, every living thing on Earth was dead. The conquest took seconds.
But, don't shed a tear! This was a different planet named Earth, and all the living things on it were completely evil. That's quite a surprise twist!
2. The Duel
Roderigo Castille was the greatest swordsman in all of Spain. But on this day, it seemed, he had met his equal. The duel began early in the day, and now it was well past dark.
The battle saw its share of expert lunges, slashes and parries. At first, Castille would make quips during the duel to throw off his opponent. But now, the duel was silent, save for the sounds of steel.
Finally, Castille feinted a lunge to the left, and then to the right, and ended the duel by piercing his opponent's chest.
Which was unfortunate, for you see this entire time, Roderigo Castille was duelling HIMSELF! For how else could he defeat the greatest swordsman in all of Spain? Also, he was suffering from Dengue Fever and not thinking straight.
3. The Verdict
Attorney Jan Lonnigan made an impassioned closing argument, the best of her remarkable career. It was a difficult case. Her client was accused of murder, and the evidence was compelling.
The only thing between the electric chair and Lonnigan's client had been her deft skill.
Ultimately, the jury came back and pronounced the defendant guilty. Which was bad news for Jan Lonnigan, as she was defending ..... Roderigo Castille, who was already dead! I bet you thought she was defending herself! Maybe that would have been a better story, and equally surprising. BUT IT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED!